best ever trip to the doctor's

I had an appointment this afternoon with a new doctor. He is an odd little man, and apparently he's very busy, because he had a brusque, impatient manner.

No chatting, no small talk, he didn't even ask what I was there for, but just launched into an examination. He listened to my heart first.

"Sounds a little crooked," he declared. "You need to eat more food."

"What kind of food?" I asked.

"Umm... like some pretzels or stuff," he said dismissively as he exchanged the stethoscope for another instrument. This one, I'm not sure what it was, he jammed into my ear and exclaimed incredulously, "It's 20,000!"

Then, another instrument, this one with explanation: "Now I'm going to look in your ear with this telephone." A brief glance into my ear through the instrument: "Whoa, it's pretty dark in there."

Next the good doctor asked me to photograph him with each of his instruments individually.

"Are you a real doctor?" I asked suspiciously.

"Mm-hmm," he answered, and that was all I could get out of him after that.

"Alright then," I said, "let me take a photo of your best doctor face."