tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17551211.post4346444488666939682..comments2023-10-20T09:11:13.584-05:00Comments on It's a Jungle in Here: an open letter to a fellow motherHeidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14894131042735833767noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17551211.post-15336527320236069442009-03-18T22:39:00.000-05:002009-03-18T22:39:00.000-05:00Thank you for that, Jessica - "parenting is not a ...Thank you for that, Jessica - "parenting is not a competitive sport" - I love it. Too bad there are definitely parents out there who seem to miss out on that point. This "willfull blindness" is an amazing phenomenon - all the time people argue that boys prefer playing with guns and roughhousing and girls prefer playing with dolls when given a choice. But often it's really a matter of what people are CHOOSING to notice. And in CHOOSING to give attention to certain behaviors, they are reinforcing these behaviors, and consequently pushing their children right into these stereotypical roles.<BR/>Oh, I could go on about this forever. The point is, though, that I appreciate that you are aware of this, Heidi, and that you and Greg are so good at leaving the options open for Evan and James and recognizing them as individuals, rather than as members of a gender role.karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06911973826506401680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17551211.post-60001496451676346502009-03-18T22:38:00.000-05:002009-03-18T22:38:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06911973826506401680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17551211.post-24884062499132212652009-03-18T16:14:00.000-05:002009-03-18T16:14:00.000-05:00I wish I could take credit for that phrase, but I'...I wish I could take credit for that phrase, but I'm sure I read it somewhere....Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00474517987488243880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17551211.post-54277653396225706612009-03-18T13:45:00.000-05:002009-03-18T13:45:00.000-05:00I've noticed the same thing since I first became a...I've noticed the same thing since I first became a mother - simply having a child of either gender must somehow be an open invitation to talk about how boys are from Mars and girls are from Venus. I had a woman in a store tell me that a newborn Will looked like "all boy," which is interesting since he looks so much like his sister. But people see what they want to see. I have a friend who makes generalizations about boys and girls based on her kids, yet ignores how her daughter's rough and tumble play complicates her girly stereotype and would probably freak out if I mentioned that her son's clinginess to her is not the most traditionally masculine trait. <BR/><BR/>In my own children, the only real difference I've noticed thus far between boys and girls is where they get diaper rash. There probably are innate differences between boys and girls, but we'll never be able to tell which differences are genetic and which are social because so many parents don't even realize how their perceptions and expectations shape their kids' behavior.kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07964409227553670322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17551211.post-22790969077720478272009-03-18T13:18:00.000-05:002009-03-18T13:18:00.000-05:00"Parenting is not a competitive sport" -- Jessica,..."Parenting is not a competitive sport" -- Jessica, you just very succinctly verbalized something I've been trying to figure out how to express for a long time!<BR/><BR/>The thing that baffled me about this woman was the way she was making all of these gendered stereotypes even when there was direct evidence to the contrary right in front of her! Willfully blind, almost.Heidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14894131042735833767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17551211.post-42284069870598685032009-03-18T12:36:00.000-05:002009-03-18T12:36:00.000-05:00Clearly, Heidi, this is one reason why I love you ...Clearly, Heidi, this is one reason why I love you so much. I am so tired of mothers of boys proclaiming how active and rowdy their BOYS are, and the implication is that boys are so much harder than girls and so families with all girls must have it easy. Parenting is not a competitive sport. Trust me, my ADHD girl is plenty active. You just can't make any assumptions along gender lines. <BR/><BR/>You and Greg are doing such a great service to your kids to be aware of this stuff and to avoid pushing them into a pre-conceived role -- way to raise some fabulous kids!Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00474517987488243880noreply@blogger.com